The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
