good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
