Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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