let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
