Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
