you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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