"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
