i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize