Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
