I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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