Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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