..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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