I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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