Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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