if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
