grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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