Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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