So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
