you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
