are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
