like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
