omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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