forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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