pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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