I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
