so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
