...so i touched it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
