I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
