I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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