I CAN MOONWALK!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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