so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
