I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
