I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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