I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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