for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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