just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
