Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize