I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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