Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
