forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
