Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize