Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How does one acquire holy water?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
