Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
