There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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