Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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