Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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