It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
