My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
