he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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