I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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