do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
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dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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