my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
