One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she looked like the before picture.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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