I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
