I wish i was in the wii world.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
