I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
