just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
