my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
