i think i have two assholes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
