I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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