sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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