Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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