I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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